Book Review: The Parlour Wife by Foluso Agbaje

 

Written by Safa Alhassan

I’ve been putting off writing this review of The Parlour Wife by Foluso Agbaje, mostly because the book traumatised me. It’s a deeply emotional and disturbing read, and it sent me straight into a reading slump. For reasons I can’t explain, it felt like my entire immune system was affected. My ability to detach or move on became clouded by the sheer wickedness and disgust that oozed from the characters, especially Mr Ogunjobi. A despicable, revolting man.

This was a book club pick, so obviously I had to read it. To protect my sanity, I tried reading it alongside another book, but honestly, that didn’t help much.

The Parlour Wife is about a young girl who is married off by her family to a disgusting old man. From there, you can already sense the themes of misogyny, patriarchy, and the devastating consequences that usually follow such decisions. One of the most disturbing scenes for me was when this pitiful man asked her to lick his feet. Why did he ask her to do such a dehumanising thing? I genuinely don’t have an answer. But one thing was constant throughout. He believed he owned her. And with that belief came the entitlement to enslave her in the marriage and stop her from pursuing the one thing she held dear: her education.

Her family situation is nothing to write home about. Her father died, and with no other means of support, she became the sacrificial lamb for the family’s survival. Her marriage had been arranged before her father’s death, and the urgency to follow through with it came immediately after he passed. She had no choice.

This book triggered a lot of emotions in me, some of which I’m not even ready to unpack. But at the root of it all is one hard truth: women continue to be at risk from their apex predators: men. Well, some men especially the ungodly ones.

I’ll be sharing some quotes from the book that stayed with me long after I finished reading. I hope you take a moment to sit with them and reflect.

Honestly, reading this book made me even more grateful for being Muslim. As a young Muslim woman, my faith has given me rights and a kind of protection that many women in this book clearly lacked. That’s why I always urge young girls to seek knowledge, especially knowledge of the religion, so it can serve as a guide and a shield.

Will I recommend this book? Absolutely.

My sister once said I shouldn’t read books that disturb my mental peace and I agree with her. Just yesterday, I watched Tyler Perry’s movie Straw, and I told her how heavy it was. She replied, “You have to be in a really good mood to watch such sadness.” I couldn’t agree more. But what I don’t believe in is turning a blind eye to the suffering of women or pretending that it doesn’t happen.

Knowing these stories is part of what drives me to help in the little ways I can. It also makes us more empathetic and, hopefully, more appreciative of our own circumstances.

So, if you haven’t read The Parlour Wife by Foluso Agbaje, I strongly urge you to. It is not an easy read but it’s a necessary one.