Book Review: The Art of Happiness (A Handbook for Living) by His Holliness The Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler

 

The Art of Happiness by The Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler is a renowned guide to finding joy and inner peace, blending ancient wisdom with modern psychology. I stumbled upon this book at a time when I was on a personal journey of growth, particularly in relation to my studies. There was a point during my research where I hit a wall and it became incredibly challenging to move forward. I felt overwhelmed, stuck, and unsure of what to do. But, in hindsight, I was wrong. Not only did I complete the work on my own, but it turned out so well that I received emails commending and even requesting my research. That experience taught me that there’s nothing I can’t do. No task is too big or too complicated.

Now, I view almost everything as a challenge. Once I set my mind to something, nothing will stop me until it’s done. That inner drive, confidence, and ability to push myself forward, that all came from learning to trust myself.

Let me take you back a bit. I’ve always considered myself a “book hunter.” It’s something I’ve done since I was a child. I know exactly what I want when it comes to books, and I have a good eye for them, trust me. So, you can imagine my curiosity when I heard about the Dalai Lama’s teachings and the reputation of The Art of Happiness. I knew I had to explore what the book had to offer.

The first time I picked it up, I couldn’t help but notice the worn pages, a clear sign of its frequent use by my dear mother. I deeply admire her for her discipline, confidence, strength, and resilience. Seeing how often she turned to this book made me curious about the valuable lessons it held. If it had impacted her that much, I knew I had to discover the wisdom hidden within its pages too.

You might be wondering if a focus on personal happiness is self-centered or self-indulgent. Not necessarily. One of the core teachings and the reasons I became quite drawn to the book is the fact that I now understand that it is actually the unhappy people that tend to be most self focused and even socially withdrawn, brooding and even antagonistic. In contrast, genuinely happy people are more sociable, flexible and creative and are able to tolerate life's daily frustrations more easily. Most importantly, they are more loving and more forgiving. These insights, among others, have profoundly impacted my personal growth and changed how I view both myself and others. I’ll explore these reflections further and discuss how they’ve reshaped my perspective.

One of the core concepts of this book is compassion and affection. According to The Dalai Lama, peace of mind or a calm state of mind is deeply rooted in these qualities. There's a profound sensitivity and emotion involved, making it a selfless act that, while aimed at benefiting others, first brings satisfaction to oneself. The contentment, peace, and gratitude that come from giving are powerful. However, to offer affection and compassion, you must first find balance and peace within yourself. If you lack it internally, you cannot give it to others. There’s a calmness and strength that arise from the vulnerability of giving from within. It makes you happy.

The kind of happiness I'm referring to doesn’t come from your external environment. Wealth, the ability to fine dine, party, or buy luxury items, cannot bring you lasting happiness. Even relationships whether with a significant other, family, or friends won't provide true happiness. They may bring temporary joy, but it's fleeting and often just a facade. True happiness depends entirely on you.

"Happiness is determined more by one's state of mind than by external events."

Our state of mind determines our level of happiness irrespective of affluence, friends, wealth etc. If your mind is not calm and at peace, you can never achieve happiness. If you have deep rooted anger and frustrations, you can never be happy. Also, have you thought about what shapes our perception and level of satisfaction? Our feelings of contentment are strongly influenced by our tendency to compare. According to HL Marcken's definition of a wealthy man, he is one whose income is $100 a year higher than his wife's sister's husband. I found this really hilarious but it's true. Comparison is inevitable to human nature but your ability to work on yourself and be contented is very crucial and important. The true antitode of greed is contentment. By appreciating what you have and not dwelling on what you do not have is a way to attain contentment. However we shouldn't forget that happiness that dwells mainly on physical pleasure is unstable. One day it's there, the next day it may not be. This teaches us to be self reliant and not place something as important as our happiness on mere things or even people.

I've learnt from this book that happiness and pleasure are two different things. While happiness is longterm, pleasure is unstable. A demonstration of this is in our daily life. We are usually faced with numerous decisions and choices. And try as we may, we often don't choose the thing that we know is good for us. Part of this is related to the fact that the right choice is often the difficult one. This is the one that involves some sacrifice of our pleasure. But being able to stick to our guns and actually be disciplined enough to undergo this process, we attain that happiness. Another scenario the book cited is the life of Epicurus of the third century. Epicurus bases his system of ethics on the bold assertion that pleasure is the beginning and the end of a blessed life. He agreed on the importance of common sense and moderation. He also recognised that unbridled devotion to sensual pleasures could sometimes lead to pain instead. As a big time procrastinator and perfectionist, I've often times put off doing certain things and enjoying my free time, with the hope of doing it at the right time. That time never actually comes. So till you're able to ignore the temporary pleasures, you'll not attain fulfillment and happiness that comes from actually getting things done. You see there is a reason we have difficulties saying no to our lower selves. The reason is found in the word no itself. That approach is associated with a sense of rejecting something, of giving something up, of denying ourselves.  So frame any decision you face by asking yourself: "Will it bring me happiness?" With this perspective, it's easier to make the right decisions. This is because often times than not, we are acting to give ourselves something, not denying or withholding something from ourselves.

One of my favourite parts of the book was when it discussed how we don’t need more and how we don’t need greater success or fame, the perfect body, or even the perfect partner. Right now, at this moment, we already have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need to achieve true happiness. But to me, this happiness only comes when we attach that mind to a higher power, the Creator of everything. The book doesn’t say this because it’s not part of the Dalai Lama’s belief system, which is where my critique comes in. There’s nothing on this earth worthy of giving your heart to other than the Creator of the heavens and the earth. Everything else is temporary, an illusion. It’s only when you realise this, and when you experience the heartbreak and betrayal that come from putting your trust in temporary things that you truly understand why the Creator must come first.

Happiness, as we think of it, doesn’t really exist. But when it’s tied to the Creator, when you reject everything temporary like the book suggests, that’s when you’ll experience real happiness. It’s the most soothing, fulfilling feeling in the world, unlike anything else. Think about all the cases of suicide, depression, and divorce, especially among the rich and powerful. That kind of peace can’t be bought, no matter how much money you have.

Moving on, another key takeaway from the book are the steps to happiness. One of the most important things I learned is that negative emotions and behaviors harm us, while painful emotions can actually help us. Another helpful lesson is realizing the benefits of positive emotions and behaviors. Once we understand this, we become determined to nurture, cherish, and grow those positive emotions, no matter how challenging it may be. It’s like a spontaneous drive from within.

In conclusion, The Art of Happiness was more than just a book for me. It was a reminder of the power we all have within ourselves. The teachings in it showed me that real happiness doesn’t come from external things, but from a mindset of peace and gratitude. It also reinforced the importance of understanding and managing our emotions, both good and bad. At the end of the day, it’s about how we respond to life’s challenges.

Reading this book helped me trust myself more and reminded me that no matter how tough things get, I have the ability to push through and come out stronger. It's a lesson I’ll carry with me, not just in my studies, but in everything I do.

I highly recommend The Art of Happiness if you're on a journey of self-discovery, growth, or simply looking for more peace in your life. It's a book that offers practical advice and timeless wisdom, reminding us that happiness comes from within.